So my hair isn’t turning grey…it’s turning white. A bit of hair growth now and it’s just shocking to see just how white it is. It feels like it happened overnight. I’m not kidding when I say this is a direct result of an overload of stress, heartache, and reliving traumatic events from my past in recent months. I’ve been dealing with it better. I’m okay. I’ll get through it and am…but wow. I’m just sitting here realizing just how MUCH your body is connected to your emotional health. My hair and muscles and joints are screaming at me to stop internalizing stuff and deal with past trauma and family stuff.
I need to take a step back from a lot of things right now. I secretly wish I could just go to an island today and just be away from it all and just heal with no distractions.
And this is why I am so looking forward to my trip to Ireland in July. It could not happen at a better time for me in this moment of my life. I need a month (or two) away to just sit down with me. Last year was my major punch in the face of ALL the things. (SO many things.) This year is my year to truly heal and stop trying to fix broken bones with bandaids. I’ve just got to take the time to take care of me. Emotional me. No more martyr mama…a role I became very good at. No more it is what it is…just throw it in the trauma file. I’m saying no..more. I’m really trying to pay attention to when I do things to make sure everyone else is happy and okay..and ignoring my own needs and emotional well being. It’s starting to make me feel bitter. I don’t want to be bitter.
I am becoming more aware of who I allow into my bubble too. Can’t help people drowning from a sinking ship. Ya know?
Ya I’m trying to know. I’m trying. Onward.
You Had To Be There… 