Last Day in Ireland

Reality kicking in that I have to go back and like….be in my real life now. I will fully admit I have absolutely been in complete denial of this with it only occasionally tapping me on the shoulder in the back of my mind. Talk about escaping. I did just that here. And it was wonderful. I will never be able to put it all into words adequately. It’s the kind of thing you really just have to experience for yourself.

But boy did it get me thinking and reevaluating things.

And I absolutely had a breakthrough moment when it came to finally allowing myself to miss my home state of WI. I did not realize just how much I pushed those homesick feelings down in order to survive the move to CA. I mean I had to. Survival. No sense in being all homesick with no option to go back. I had a mission in CA that ultimately ended up completely blowing up in my face but..I think there are parts that worked out and the rest I will spend my life trying to make up for. Guess that’s just a normal existence for most of us. Try not to dwell on regret too much. I did the best I could and I know where my heart was at while making those decisions.

So who knew the moment I stepped into another country…it would flood me with home memories of WI. That still amazes me. The connections here still amaze me. I’ve never experienced anything like this in my life. I have never arrived in a completely different place and felt so very much at home. I am so grateful I did. That I had the opportunity to. Amongst all the crap I have thrown at me…I have an equal amount of mind blowing amazing things that come my way. There is no secret to how I manage…I manage because of this one key consistent fact in my life. With all the bad…equal amount of good. Every time. Thankfully it evens out.

I can not explain how grateful I am that it evens out. I know so many for whom it does not. Why me. Why it works out the way it does I will never understand. But I know I should never ever lose sight of this because it can be rare and I am blessed.

My last day here is heavy. But I keep reminding myself I will come back. And my life is still an open book with more stories to add and who knows what will happen next. Not the end. Just a chapter. Keep on moving.

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