Working on my commission on a make shift, knee height work table. My back hurts bad..and now my knees…but god dammit I’m not giving up on my goal.
Bring it universe. Bring all the BS and plop it down in my lap. I will make paper airplanes out of it all. I was raised to deal with it. My mother knocked down walls in an entry way once that were slowly crumbling apart when no one would help her repair it or pay for someone to repair it. She knocked down walls. It’s unfortunately the only thing about my mother I respect. When people around her were being selfish and uncaring..she took matters into her own hands and KNOCKED DOWN WALLS. Ya..a little manic…but…she got it done. She didn’t sit and cry for too long about an issue. She simply figured out how she could do it. I’m grateful for that now. Minus all the crazy in my childhood…I was taught you don’t beg a man to help for too long. You don’t sit and cry about it for too long. You shake it off and you figure out a way to do it yourself. You figure out how to be resourceful. When someone refuses to help…whatever…do it yourself and get it done. This has been so incredibly useful for me on my journey. I’ve been on my own the majority of my life. I’ve taught myself how to do something a million different times. I’ve relied on my own ability to solve a problem. It hasn’t always worked. I’ve found myself on the other side of okay more often than not…but I’ve never given up on this idea that I am capable to do something and I have two choices. I can sit here and cry about it…or I can get up and do something.
So that’s what I’m doing. I’m not curled up in a corner. I am working. What wall? No wall here. I knocked the fucker down.