When you know better…

Here is why this time is different. And as much as I hate to say this..why this country needed trump and needed a real live magnifying glass so they can easily see what racism is and it’s effect. I know several people who have done a 180 about how they see people. I know several people who have realized what they have thought about people…was horribly wrong. I know several people who have nothing short of..seen the light. I know one who wants to march too. I never ever imagined I would see this day. As much as we are reeling from all the bad out there..there are some amazing things happening in the hearts of people I truly believed would never change. I am certain there are many white people out there who are seeing the same within their circle of friends, family or acquaintances.
So you can see all the bad and think it hopeless…and there are always going to be people who hate…but I’m telling ya…this time I am seeing a real change of heart coming from an older generation normally set in their ways. This is my personal experience and what I’ve seen occur over the past weeks. I just want those who live with racism on a daily to know this..and to not let up…because it IS working. And yes…I too have been doing a serious evaluation of how I have contributed to racism in this country.
I’m learning what my mistakes have been and where I need to step up as well. My fear of confrontation..just being quiet about it..not helping to teach..I’ve been part of the problem too and I acknowledge that. I can’t explain the shame I feel about not doing more. So many many different times in my life when I could have said something and didn’t because “I just didn’t want to go there with someone.” Or the many moments when I thoughtlessly said things that in hindsight…were adding fuel to the fire. I’m sorry and I don’t want to be any part of the problem any longer. I know who I am..I know what’s in my heart…but my actions a lot of the time did not match what was inside. I have not been my authentic self in a lot of situations because I was afraid to. I’m sorry I was weak. I’m sorry I didn’t realize this was my struggle too. I separated myself from this problem not realizing how much it affected EVERYONE and how needed I was to make this change in our society. I foolishly believed this was not my fight. Somehow I was above this and therefore not responsible. I was wrong.

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