A long time ago I became online friends with a woman who shared my love of Madonna on Yahoo chat. We had many convos and she told me she was a transgender woman living in NJ with her mother. She didn’t go out much but for work and at her job she dressed as a male because she had been attacked too many times when she did try to dress as a woman. Just walking down the sidewalk was a huge risk. She told me of several instances where she was brave and just wanted to be who she was on the outside but time and time again learned the hard way the consequences of her actions. One time it ended her up in the hospital when 3 men attacked her and her mother begged her to not do it again. She didn’t want her mother to worry so she stopped being herself out in public. She lived in an area where she didn’t know anyone else like her so she didn’t make a lot of friends and mostly kept to herself. I learned so much from this woman about what it’s like to be who she is and the struggles and absolute abuse that go along with simply being born who you are. She knew early on as a child that she was different. Her mother knew too and what an angel of a mother. She allowed her to be who she was at home and never made any kind of deal about it..just loved her unconditionally.
I was a young 20 something when I began talking to her and after a bit folks moved over to Facebook and we lost contact. One day she just wasn’t on Yahoo anymore and I’ve always thought about her and wondered how she is doing.
But what a lesson I learned from her listening to her stories about every day life for someone born in the wrong body. It made a huge impact on me. She never wanted to have surgery done because the idea scared the crap out of her. She was content in the body she was born in for the most part although wished for a redo from the start. And she wished she could just be accepted. She just wanted people to understand and accept there were people like her. She didn’t want the looks. She didn’t want the hate. She just wanted to feel she wasn’t a freak for being who she was.
I will never forget her..her honesty…and her willingness to answer my questions. It made such an impact on me. It helped me understand just how horrible it really is to be hated for simply being born who you are and how lonely it is. I hope she is okay. It’s been so long now I hope she was able to find a place where she felt she belongs. 🙏

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