How Much Do You Want an Answer

Okay so here is something I struggle with and have most my life. My asking questions that come off the wrong way with people. I ask genuine questions because I really want to understand..mostly about why people behave the way they do and what is behind their behavior because I really genuinely don’t understand and it is taken the wrong way a lot. I think people believe I am being either crude or rude or a narcissistic or sarcastic or I don’t know…something negative and I really need to know if I am just not capable of asking questions or if I should add more smiley emojis to the questions I ask?? Or should I just shut up because I am really tired of having things taken the wrong way and then I spend more time trying to understand why people are upset that I asked the question over having a real discussion and answers for the original question I asked.

If that makes sense. I think people misunderstand my intentions a lot and I’ve often thought I so wish there were like some way for them to understand the difference between my sarcasm and my genuine questions. I mean besides me saying the words “I am genuinely asking..” Because EVEN THEN…I get people who buck at my questions. Even then. I honestly do not know what I am doing wrong when I am just asking a question so I understand better.

Another life long mystery for me. People thinking I’m being rude for simply asking a question. I don’t know how without someone being annoyed by it. And the first hint of annoyance from someone and I feel like crawling back into my cave where I think about how I could have done it differently and feel bad that somehow being me was wrong and how stupid am I and why didn’t I just shut up and be okay with not understanding this thing I asked about.

It’s incredibly frustrating. It will bug me for weeks. And I do shut down. Sometimes I think just stop trying. Just stop trying to have social discussions because you obviously can not fit in that way either. Even in your place where you feel you can express yourself using written words..even with this you fail to get your true intentions across.

I honestly do not know what the answer is. These are the kind of questions I would like answered with someone who understands how my brain works. I don’t care about fitting in anymore. I’m okay alone. Prefer it. I’ve figured out ways to survive in this world that does not in any way accommodate me. But I would like to understand if I should just stop trying to be myself and shut up? Or learn HOW to ask something and try to have a discussion without also trying to understand what I said wrong with some. Or maybe be less sensitive about it when it happens. I don’t know. I just know this has been a reoccurring thing in my life and I want to finally understand it.

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