…before understanding they are autistic?
I am beginning to think yes…yes they very much do. It sure would explain a lot of things going on with some people I am close to. Some have a pretty good idea they are..most don’t. In no way do I feel it is any of my business to say anything or point anything out to them. It’s such a deeply personal journey and realization..that just wouldn’t be okay to me. But the more I understand what it is…what it can be and how it appears in males vs females..the more I see it in others. It’s part of the reason I feel the need to talk about it. It’s how the lightbulb went on for me..hearing others simply talk about what they experience. And I have had so many people send me messages now telling me “omg I think I need to look into this more.” Each time it happens I feel a moment of awe that so many of us just deal with this thing we don’t understand and really believe we are dealing with it alone. Why would you ever talk about something with anyone if you truly believed it was just your own personal weird quirks? You wouldn’t. You don’t. Until…you hear someone talk about that exact thing you experience. And then “boop”…that lightbulb flickers. That “wait a second here..what did they just say..how could they…I do that..I feel that….”
I have several people very close to me that I believe are in fact autistic and it is why I gravitated to them. Male and female. The more I learn about how both sex’s do things and feel things..the more I see it in them and it might be autism or it might be ADHD but it is definitely neurodivergent. And it really is a spectrum. But even as a spectrum and even though we all do and feel things different I can still recognize it. I can still sense the core things about it. Once you know…you REALLY can not..not know any longer. I appreciate these people in my life even more now. I understand them a little better. I get why these sometimes very opposite of me and my personality, type of people are in my life and why we ultimately ended up as friends. Birds of a feather…truly do flock together. There are some friends who are no longer here that I wish I could talk to them about it. One in particular. She never had the opportunity to know things about herself that were very much like me and how I do. What a rotten card she was given in life. I wish so much now I could share this with her and tell her just how okay she really was. And thank her again for being my friend. My rare true blue friends. Few and far between but like absolute gold to me.
And this is why I will continue to talk about it. This is why. This is too important not to. To crucial for the person who recognizes what it means to them personally. Life changing. I will never be the Anne Marie I was before this knowledge about myself and my existence again. And to understand now just how strong the gravitational force is when it comes to like minded thinkers is confirming and inspiring. We neurodivergent birds do very much find each other. We always have.
#actuallyautistic #birdsofafeather
You Had To Be There… 